Game 1: 11am Conditions: Clear and smooth like the hair of the dog.
The HUGE Winners v. Cal West #4
Final Score: 41-0
The HUGE Winners displayed their girthiness once again with a dominating display of football prowess. The HUGE Winners came out of the gate swinging and scored two TDs on their first two possessions. Cal West #4 made a valiant effort and it looked like their luck was about to change when they subbed in a girl QB who had the highest QB rating of the game. Despite throwing two interceptions, she played like a true champ. The HUGE Winners ultimately came out victorious with their five interceptions and four stops on the red zone. The game truly was a spectacular exhibit of sportsmanship and defensive superiority.
Game 2: 12PM; Conditions: The heat is on...chance of sun
Professor Sacks v. 4L’s Do It Longer
Final Score: 33-7
Professor Sacks seemed geared up in their best TWEED jackets and ready to teach for this one. Giving the fans a taste of what the weather had in store for the rest of the day, Professor Sacks started hot with an opening drive, turn, shuffle, paddy-cake, and skip to a short drive for a TTTOOOUUUCCCCHHHHDDDDOOOWWWWNNNNN on the first play of the game. 4L’s Do It Longer seemed in the zone and ready to play but Professor Sacks lesson plan was too much for them to handle. After returning to the second half down 20-0, Professor Sacks strong defense made it difficult for 4L’s Do It Longer to put up the necessary points.
Game 3: 1pm; Conditions: calm, sunny, and hot. The air is full of stinky.
Cal West #1 v. #StinkyPinkies
Final Score: 14-14
Well this game was like the porta-potty in the Clairemont parking lot...a mess. Cal West #1 and #StinkyPinkies struggled the 1st half to make anything happen. Balls dropped all over the place. When asked about the balls dropping, Justin Bieber declined to respond. Cal West #1 ended the first half with a 2-0 lead from a mis-handled snap. Both teams seemed to wake up for the second half and display a glimmer of talent. Cal West #1 and #StinkyPinkies went tit for tat with each team putting up 2 touchdowns to end the game. The #StinkyPinkies put Cal West #1 on the edge of their seats with a truly pink hail mary in the final seconds of the game. But in this arena, on this day, both teams came out exactly the same...tied.
Game 4: 2 PM; Conditions: Hungry for Pop Torts...
Malicious Tortfeasors v. Torts Illustrated
Final Score: 24-8
Torts Illustrated played a great game led by their QB and cookie monster. QB Blake held his own and threw some great passes for a fine overall performance. Cookie monster was all over the field pulling flags like the cookie monster slamming home Mrs. Field’s Chocolate Chips. Diego gave the fans a scare with his sprained ankle but gave Torts Illustrated hope when he returned to the field. Despite their solid performance, Malicious Tortfeasors came out like the perfect cup of coffee...strong, black, and exerting pressure.
Game 5: 3 PM; Conditions: Sunny with a gentle breeze. Still hot but so gentle.
TJSL Stallions v. Statute of Frauds
Final Score: 12-19
Upset was in the air for this game as the reigning TJSL IM Football Champions struggled to get going on offense and defense. Initially hesitant about playing the whole game, TJSL Stallions’ girls played great despite the loss. Their performance made for a solid argument that a more fitting name for the TJSL Stallions on this day was the TJSL Mares. When questioned about the game, the TJSL Stallions replied that “penalties killed us” and “don’t be hungover.” Playing with only six players, the Statute of Frauds held their own and put up the points to earn the win. The girls stripped flags left and right and the team played with a strong sense of determination and unity. The Statute of Frauds mentioned that “they played awesome with a player down” and “running the clock down on offense helped quite a bit.”
Game 6: 4PM; Conditions: Winds are SSW-SW 4-9kts and it continues to be hot like a distant cousin
Distant Relatives v. Trespassory Taking
Final Score: 20-12
This game looked like a good one as the Distant Relatives took on the Trespassory Taking. Trespassory Taking looked like the team to beat with their snazy nicknames and purple shirts. A challenge the Distant Relatives were happy to take on with a smile. Two minutes into the game, Trespassory Taking let fly a frozen rope that resulted in the catch of the day. One fan on the sideline yelled “that was beautiful”. Later on Trespassory Taking unleashed their enforcer who delivered a hockey check to one of the Distant Relatives that made the arena cringe. But the Distant Relatives were as cool as ever and kept delivering the plays needed to take the win. When asked to comment, the Distant Relatives made clear that it was “a team effort, they are playing beyond their expectations, and they have the best girls in the league...again!”