Game 1: 11AM; Conditions: Sunny with a cool breeze of maliciousness TJSL Stallions v. Malicious Tortfeasors Final Score: 20-21
For the start of the Championship weekend, we had last year’s reigning champs, TJSL Stallions, up against the newbie 1L’s, Malicious Tortfeasors. The game started off tense with both teams wearing eye-black and getting their hands dirty on the field with some amazing defense. TJSL Stallions’ Mares were making friends all game long with the astroturf- who they are now besties with for about a week till the burns heal.
TJSL Stallions lost in the final seconds of the game to a beautiful hail mary pass. The Malicious Tortfeasors gave many thanks to Clutch Clayton for catching the game winner! Malicious Tortfeasors, sneaking into the playoffs, exclaimed “ Don’t underestimate the wild card!” Overall it was a very well-played game that the Malicious Tortfeasors thought was their only game of the day. When they found out they had advanced to the next round, they commented “Sh^t, we didn’t know we would have to play another one!”
Game 2: 12PM; Conditions: #StinkyPinkies are no longer trending Professor Sacks v. #StinkyPinkies Final Score: 25-12 On the first drive of the game Professor Sacks came out with their weekly play of a deep bomb to the end zone to Anthony for the first touchdown of the game. The #StinkyPinkies never saw it coming and never caught up after that. The Professor Sacks girls showed up to play. The girls, lead by Sara continued to snag flags right and left like only girls could do despite some blood and sweat to match. Professor Sacks commented that there was a “lot of contact” happening on the field today with a ton of low shoulders to the chest and body.
The #StinkyPinkies were just going for gold and when asked to comment about how the game went, the team captain, coach and recently retired football player Tim Seeger, said “they really could have used me out there today.” The rest of the team jeered and laughed and told the media that they had a lot of heart and left it all out on the field for their last time ever of playing IM football for TJSL, until an alumni team can be formed.
They would also like to shout out to Breast Cancer month in the fact that they are the only team that fully supports it from Randy’s multiple pink items all the way to Matt Work’s baby showing up in some pink gear. Way to go guys!
Game 3: 1pm; Conditions: “No pads, no helmets, just Balls!” -MT
Malicious Tortfeasors v. Distant Relatives
Final Score: 18-27
The start of the semi-final games began with a burst of energy from the fresh and rested Distant Relatives. The Distant Relatives who came in ranked #1 for the playoffs had a very loud and exciting huddle chant with Aneesh leading the cheer from the middle. Each team had great plays throughout and both teams had key interceptions in the final minutes of the game to keep the fans excited. In the last two minutes, Ish intercepted a ball with 1:19 left in the game and then the Malicious Tortfeasors answered back with an interception with 1:02 left to play. In the end, the Malicious Tortfeasors were a little tired from their all- out performance in the first game and commented that this was “only warm up for next year!" The Distant Relatives maintained their close knit style of play and summed it up that “We are not a team, we are a family!”
Distant Relatives came out victorious and looked like the team to beat as they moved on to the Championship game.
Game 4: 2pm; Conditions: The Last Cal West Team Professor Sacks v. The HUGE Winners Final Score: 18-21
Professor Sacks came out hard with some deep throws to the end-zone with Anthony throwing almost the whole field for a Touchdown! They also came up with a clutch interception in the end-zone to keep things hot on the scoreboard. The HUGE Winners came out real hard as the #2 seed in the playoffs received a bye to come into the game fresh and ready to play. They commented that this was the “hardest game all season” and that there was a ton of “teamsmanship from both teams” … yes teamsmanship. They also challenged the Distant Relatives that this was a game that proved who has the best girls in the league! Professor Sacks commented after the game that “they lost, and a bye is very important in game strategy and endurance….” Game 5: 3pm; Conditions: CHAMPIONSHIP TIME The HUGE Winners v. Distant Relatives Final Score: 7-32 The HUGE Winners just could not handle the heat from the Distant Relatives as they had to play back to back games. Despite the low score, The HUGE Winners put up a great fight with mighty performances by their players. The going got tough a few times with some intersquad squabbles but the team continued to charge. They declined to comment after the game.
The Distant Relatives came out with a passion and intensity that lit up the field. Ranging from multiple girl play maneuvers to a lot of players crashing into the boards, they kept the game intense.
Distant Relatives now owns the championship to maintain that their girls are the best in the league. Kaaveh would like to personally shout out to Danny Saleh that he missed him in the finals.
Great job to everyone who came out this season but it is time to put the cleats and tears away until next season rolls around and you all remember why you came out in the first place: to play some good quality fooseball. THIS IS....IM FOOTBALLLLLLLLL!!!!!!