Game 1: 11AM; Conditions: 82 °F. 100% chance of some good ol’ fashion football.
Torts Illustrated v. #StinkyPinkies
Final Score: 12-38
Both teams looked hydrated and well rested for the first game of Week 3. Torts Illustrated showed up with a strong running game and a few solid passes from the QB. But the stinky stench of the #StinkyPinkies was a crowd favorite under the leadership of Dr. Sir Mr. Captain Tim Seeger, MD, TD, Esq., MBA-concentration in touchdowns, Ph.TDEE. The momentum moved in the favor of the #StinkyPinkies after gaining possession on a fumbly interception on a deep bomb which covered the length of the field. Again Mr. TD (HANSSSS) himself showed up to score a record breaking 4 touchdowns with his sprite like grace landing ever so softly in the endzone. #VinoBlanco.
When asked to comment about how the game went Torts Illustrated said “I did not know they sold so many pink things for guys” and “the game plan really fell through today.” I am sure they missed their Captain Diego from a bad sprained ankle last week. Hopefully they will have him supporting from the sidelines for the final round of play before playoffs.
Game 2: 12PM; Conditions: warmer than the full rack, half rack, baby backs
Trespassory Taking v. 36-Rack
Final Score: 28 – 8
36-Rack came out with a vengeance and an actual 36 rack to sustain them through the game. The game started with both teams looking pretty even but Trespassory Taking began having their way with the opponent after jumping to an early lead with Kissey Face #9 looking like Miley Cyrus’s new video “Wrecking Ball” tearing down the field for a massive gain in yards.
36-Rack must have given it their all in the first half scoring their only touchdown followed by a 2 point conversion. When asked about how the game went they responded that “they must go back to the tapes.” Maybe they have already forgotten what happened out there and need a refresher and a refreshment to help ease the pain.
When asked about the game, Trespassory Taking were so “taken away by their first win and for their great teammates.” They also exclaimed that it was the “Highlight of their week!”
Game 3: 1PM; Conditions: It’s hot with a growing breeze from the SSW. Keanu Reeves.
TJSL Stallions v. Professor Sacks
Final Score: 27 – 26
In the closest and most heated game of the day the winning play came down to the ticking seconds of the game clock. Professor Sacks started the game with deep bomb for their first play that resulted in a touchdown which alerted the Stallions that they would have to bring their A game.
Bobby GT would like to thank his fans for the vote of Sexiest TJ student this year and also thank them for supporting him through his sprained ankle which although injured still managed to get him some interceptions on the books. Meanwhile Danny’s ability to multitask allowed him to take some time during the huddles to hit on some honey’s on the sidelines while also putting in some camera time to get the media pumped up. When asked about the media time Danny commented “ That’s what I Do!” Nima absent from last week’s loss had a strong return to the IM Football season with a touchdown and amazing defense.
This game ended with the Stallions up just 1 point and Professor Sacks unable to get the 2 point conversion.
Game 4: 2PM; Conditions: Still hot with light rhythmic gyrations from the north. Winter is coming.
Yellow Snow v. Malicious Torts
Final Score: 7 – 12
The first half was uneventful as the team’s pitter-pattered back and forth down the field for a scoreless first half. During half time the teams decided that they were really going to get in the endzone this half, and that is exactly what they did!
Yellow Snow came out with a heavy run to catch a deep ball in the endzone for their one and only touchdown of the game. Malicious Torts came out in the second half with a fury with 2 picks in the endzone and a pick 6! They then got a touchdown with a sweet diving catch by a Malicious Tort who is probably taking home a nice raspberry to remember their win!
Game 5: 3PM; Conditions: Windy and full of hot air...weather is being mysterious.
4L’s Do It Longer v. Statue of Frauds
Final Score: 6 – 20
4L’s again decided not to comment but the media would like to give them some props on their SICK uniforms! If nothing else, at least they look good out on the field each week.
The mystery team of Statue of Frauds came out hard this week again with a full 7 players to clinch the victory. To sum it up they had 3 picks and an awesome catch by one of the girls for a great touchdown.
There was ton of defense from everyone especially from the newly returned vet of IM football Pete. I am sure the Statute of Frauds are hopefully he does not go back into retirement for next week’s game.
Game 6: 4PM; Conditions: Still congressing....
The HUGE Winners v. Distant Relatives
Final Score: 32 - 35
This game reminded me of a children’s seesaw, as no team really ever had the upper hand but continuously went back and forth until the end. Distant Relatives took a commanding lead in the second half pushing the score to 35-25 with their not-so-secret weapon; a 6’6 receiver who was impossible to defend in the endzone. When The HUGE Winners tried to even the score they fell short by only reaching 32 with the seconds running out. It was quoted as a “Great Game with Great Sportsmanship”