IM Football Week 3

September 27, 2012

Game 1:  Multiple Scoregasms 34; Learned Hands 28
For the marquee matchup of the day, the Multiple Scoregasms proved they can hit all the right spots as they edged out the Learned Hands in a battle of undefeated teams.  Poor flag pulling was the theme of the day as both teams scored on multiple long runs that could have been avoided by better tackling.  The pace of the game wasn’t helped by the referees who made it rain with their flags like they were Fat Joe at a strip club.  Though it was probably warranted due to the physical nature of the game.  The other theme of the days involved the groan areas of Multiple Scoregasms.  Kevin got hit with a pass in this unfortunate area, and Ben from Learned Hands allegedly tried to knee Aneesh in the groan after being de-pantsed . Luckily, cooler heads prevailed and the MS pulled out a close victory with a last second TD pass to Adam.  All around it was a solid, well-played game from two of the league’s best teams.  Becca was the star of the game as she had several key catches down the stretch which allowed MS to prevail.  MS can lock up first place in their division with a win next week.

Game 2: TJSL Stallions 33; Do Work 32
The second game pitted the two angriest teams in the league against each other as the TJSL Stallions edged out Do Work in a game that showed despite the formal education of the players and the recreational nature of this league, cooler heads don’t always prevail.  Both teams needed to be reminded on several occasions that the championship t-shirts are made of basic cotton, generic colors, and aren’t worth more than $10.  Also the rumor that the team who wins the league receives automatic bar passage hopefully is put to bed after this week.  It was a good thing because Thomas Jefferson had been starting to get a positive reputation around San Diego.  The need to trash-talk, take cheap shots, and constantly complain after every single play like four-year olds had one of the referees so fed up he thought about calling the game.  Luckily, a few bad apples didn’t ruin the entire game as there were plenty of players on both teams that were actually adult enough to get through a recreational game of flag football without losing their minds. Do-Work put in a valiant effort to fill holes, but the Stallions bandana wearing hurry up offense was too much in the end.  The Stallions move to 3-0 and are in a battle with the Snoop Lions for the top spot in the division.

Game 3: Snoop Lions 48; Show Us Your TDs 12
The Snoop Lions continued their offensive mastery scoring early and often against an undermanned Show Us Your TDs squad.  Tensions were high with the referees after the debacle of the second game, but both teams miraculously showed that it is possible to actually have fun while playing a game with your friends.  The two squads tried this new thing called  “Having a good time without getting angry and yelling at their teammates and referees who get paid like $10 a game.”  It was a controversial concept, but both teams seemed to enjoy themselves in the end.  The game was never really close as Show Us Your TDs had only 6 players on their team.  They played their hearts out despite the heat and with a full team and a few subs, SUYT would be a solid team in the league.  The small city that makes up the Snoop Lions put took their opposing team’s name to heart and “showed them their TDs” by scoring on every position except one.  With a win next week and a solid defensive outing, the Snoop Lions should breeze in to the playoffs with a first round bye.

Game 4: Pro Boners 19; #NoBama 0
#NoBama became #NoScoring as the Pro Boners stiffened up (boo-yah!) when it counted most and put up the first shutout of the season.  This game saw multiple dropped passes as the Pro Boners erected (heyoooo) just enough offense to beat the rambunctious republicans.  The Pro Boners finally got their blood flowing to the right places (zing!) with a few late INTS.  NoBama’s lack of offense can probably be contributed to either their QB going down with an ankle injury or a lack of protein in their diet because they didn’t wear the Chick-fil-A shirts.  The latter is probably most accurate.  The high light of the game came when the NoBama QB’s flag was pulled by the pony-tailed Pro Boner in what has been described as the greatest meeting of miraculous hair cuts in the long and storied history of IM football.  Pro-Boners moves to 2-1 and can possibly clinch a playoff spot next week if they can upset the Snoop Lions and keep their points allowed low.  NoBama drops to 0-3 on the season but if they added a few more pieces and stay healthy, this could be a team to watch in the future.

Game 5: Balls Out Screamers 28; Fifty Shades of Gray 20
This game was 50 shades of boring as it seemed that neither team really wanted to take control until the very end.  It was a back and forth hissy-fit again until Balls Out Screams finally put them away with a late TD.  The Balls Out Screamer’s defense was one mystery the Fifty Shades of Gray QB Watson couldn’t solved as he was rushed to throw all game.  Something was definitely afoot.  Regardless of the erotic connotations of their opponent’s name, the Balls Out Screamers were able to keep their focus and pull out an important victory.  An upset win next week against the Multiple Scoregasms could allow them to sneak into the playoffs.  Fifty Shades of Gray moves to a disappointing 0-3.

STANDINGS (Points Against):